God the Attorney
I have spent the better half of the last month reading license and service agreements for a software product. I have met with attorneys and learned quite a bit about how these terms and conditions work. Warranty, Termination, Liability, Force Majuere, Payment Terms. It has been interesting and boring at the same time. It got me thinking, what would John 3:16 look like if God were an attorney?
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
I'm no lawyer, but let's try this;
First, the parties are declared;
This agreement ("Agreement") is made between God, henceforth known as ("Creator") and the people of the Earth, henceforth known as "You".
Second, the premise is stated;
Whereas:
Subject to the terms and conditions of this Agreement, Creator hereby grants to You a perpetual, worldwide, non-exclusive, no-charge, royalty-free, irrevocable license to Eternal (as defined below) life.
Third, definitions;
"Belief" means the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true.
"Eternal" means an infinite amount of time, or a timeless state.
"Perish" means to cease to exist.
"Salvation" means being saved from, or liberation from, something, such as suffering or the punishment of sin.
"Son" means Jesus Christ.
Then the agreement would get into all of the clauses;
License
License states what is granted. The license term shall commence upon the effective date of this agreement subject to You stating Belief in the Son of the Creator.
Disclaimer of Warranty
God does not have a Disclaimer of Warranty. He would definitely warrant your eternal life.
Termination
The agreement is Terminated when one of the parties fails to comply with the terms. We all know which party that may be.
Payment Terms
Remind me what the wages of sin are?
Force Majeure
Force Majeure is a catastrophic event that prevents the agreement from being met. You know, something like an act of God. Oh yeah, got that covered.
There are probably a few more clauses but you get the picture. I'm sure a good attorney could drive a truck through my attempt at this agreement. Thankfully, God has put it in much simpler terms.
What do you think?
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